Please forgive me for my long absence...I have moved twice in the last couple of months. My first new location was a gated community with most excellent security service. My address was Cell-block 341A, Coosa County Jail. My second move(my current location) was to a big building named "Coosa Rehabilitation Center".
It all started when two people dressed in dark blue uniforms with star shaped badges showed up on my doorstep uninvited. I attempted to drive them away with my hoard of attack mice I have training in my basement for several years. Unfortunately, it appeared my training was for nought, as all the mice did was run and hide.
The next thing that happened puzzles me to this day. The bluesy dressed people started saying things like..."Under arrest", Something about my "'rights'? hand.", "Remain silent", and such...
An awkward silence ensued.
After a minute, I broke the silence by excusing my-self to go get something to eat. Rudely, the bluesy dressed people came inside uninvited and watched my actions suspiciously. All this staring was making me rather uncomfortable, so I decided to take a brisk walk to calm my nerves. When the people started following me, I decided to make it a very quick run away from wherever they were.
Unfortunately, my yard was enclosed by a fence, and I didn't have time to open the gate, so I decided to jump it. However, because of forces out of my control, I didn't quite make it. I woke up in the back of a white car.
At the station I was given a telephone, and told I could make one call. I was still rather hungry, so I decided to call the Pizza Guy. I ordered a large pizza with the works, but then they hung up on me after I told them where I was calling from. The bluesy men showed up again and took my to my apartment, which turned out to be small and made entirely of metal.
Strangely enough, none of my countless fans or friends came to bail me out. I assumed that they are all hibernating for the summer.
I won't give too many details about my appearance in court. I will tell you, however, that it was immediately after I got up and made a long speech that I was told I was moving again, this time to the "Coosa Rehabilitation Center".
I promised my counselor that I would delete this blog, but am secretly keeping it up.
Till later...
Yours Truly,
Dave the Great
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5 comments:
Dear Dave,
I apoligize in advance for the quality of this post; I am currently in a heavily dazed state. Upon reading your blog, I fell into a comatose state for several minutes, and am still in in shock.
First of all, I would like to express my strong support for you in this difficult situation; you may rest assured that within days you will be freed. As soon as I finish this post, I intend to call a friend of mine who happens to be a trial lawyer, and we will sort this mess out.
Signed,
-Dave's Greatest Fan
daer Dave.
Hu! i tld ll u idoit dve fns tath dve was a idit nd i ws right ha ha nd now dve is in rebahalition center wth a bnch of insne persns so ther! Nd just so dve cn kno, ive enrloled in an Eginlish class nd sooon i will be ble to rite nd puctaute nd stuff nd dve wont be able too mke fun of me nymre so there!
ps ha ha ha
sgned,
dves wrst enemie who hts hm
To Greatest Fan:
My thanks to you for feeling for me. However, I am currently devising a foolproof escape plan, so I am in no need of assistance.
-Dave
To dves wrst enemie:
If I could understand, I would respond.
dear dve,
ha ha cuz my egnilish curse hs strted nd i lready m geting bettr at splleing nd soon i wll be able too figt u hed 2 hed n a bttle f wits nd i will dafeat u nd u will be dsgrced in frnt of all ur fans nd i shll win nd ha!
ps tomorro im suposed to lrn about pucnentuation so u bettr wtch out dve!
signed,
dves wrst enemie who hts hm
umm......... dudes, I don't know if, like, i should say this, but daves wrst enmie or whatever has been saying stuff so i thought that i would say something........well, dves wrst enmie or whatever has been like insulting dave, and i just want to say that i think dave is pretty cool and stuff and that i don't think hes a lying megolamianiac or anything like that.
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