Monday, June 26, 2006

What, Me Worry?

Apparently, my last post caused no small amount of concern among my fans. It seems that they think that I am getting sued for some reason. Well, let me assure them, that their fears have no foundation whatsoever. I'm just way too great to sue. In a comment, a fan of mine interpreted the writing like this.

"Dear Mr. Thompson,
By not responding to any of our previous (illegible), to remove the (illegible) content from (illegible) (illegible), you have forced us to take (illegible) action against (illegible)."

Well, I have figured out the illegible portions, and it goes like this

"Dear Mr. Thompson,
By not responding to any of our previous pleadings, to remove the great content from your blog, you have forced us to take great action against all other blogs."

Apparently, my blog is too great, so they are taking everyone elses offline. I'm sure the change will come about in the next few days. I'm sure you all will understand.

Anyway, no worries about lawsuits.

P.S. Comments such as

"Hey, dve!

The can su U, U'r 2 cool t ge sud! Jus give mE d word, dve, and il go n kill jams dogder or wtever an he ovisly dont kno dat u r dve! i m sooo md nou!

-dvs fn woo s anry"

are more insulting than they are anything else. I mean, if you're going to leave a comment on the greatest(and soon to be only) blog on the Internet, then at least have the decency to spell things right!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

To Europe or Bust!!

I decided today that I would like to take a trip to Europe. I figured that seeing the great arts and buildings of the past will help relieve the feeling that I am the only person great enough to understand the things that I do.

Anyway, the mail-truck deposited more envelopes and papers in the little box by the street today. One of them was again from "The Law Offices of James Dogooder"(see my post entitled What Happened Today for more on James Dogooder and my greatness). The letter was again written in cursive, and so, I could not read it. However, I will post it up so you all can see that it is obviously a tribute to my greatness.

I accidentally set fire to it, and then had to douse it to put out the flames, so it's a little smudged, but I'm sure you can make it out(click on it to get a larger version).

Friday, June 16, 2006

Life Work

I am writing a book about my life. I believe these books in English (the language of the common American peasant) are called auto-biographies. To clarify, I'm not in the process of writing. I have been done with the writing for almost fifteen years. I'm currently in the process of trying to get a major publishing company to syndicate my book. This as I call it "SINdictation" stage has taken the fifteen years since I finished the final draft of my book. Now while many lesser authors would be discouraged by the flood of rejection slips, I am not. I'm sure you are thinking, "How is he so stead fast in the face of almost certain defeat?" Now you may think that it's another one of my amazing traits or that it must be a combination of my ancestors and my own amazing will power. But in reality, it's neither supreme bloodlines nor nerves of steel. It is knowledge that the publishers are wrong and I am right. In a couple of days, I will release never-before-seen rejection slips from the publisher with their ridiculous remarks on my amazing paragraphs.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Recent Happenings

Recently, I was hacked by the person who now calls himself "the critic". Obviously, my greatness became to much for him to bear, and he just had to try to defeat me. He challenged me to a duel, and I accepted.

We decided that since I live in America, and he lives in Denial, the best place for us to meet was over the internet. I challenged him to a game of Castle Wolfenstien, and he accepted.

The battle was short lived. I won a game. He then accused me of cheating and wanted a rematch. This went on for 5 games(me winning all of them), until he finally exited the game in disgust. It appears that I have won once and for all.