Sunday, May 28, 2006

Reply to a Critic

I received a comment to both of my previous posts. The first one was just what I expected.

A comment from 'Captian Peabody':
"Wow, Dave, you are so great! I feel honored just to be able to read the same words you've written."

But the second one had some issues with some of my reasoning about my ancestors. It was from an anonymous person, and it said:
"Hey umm dave you strike me as a megalomanaic. You realize that this so called "da vinci painting theory has several holes in it, and I will list them in orer of most to least important. First, it is known that da vinci was gay and had no children. secondly if he did some how manage to raise a family with out the world knowing it how should he have known that in a couple hundred years one of his desendants would be named Dave? Secondly, we have no evidence that the so called "sword"(actually a butter knife) has any inscription much less a relation to genghis kahn. Finally to name just one of the many flaws that frequent your post, how did a butter kife of an asian war lord end up in an American attic? Could I also be so bold as to ask to have you post a picture of the inscription as well as the key you made to cipher the ancient dialect. I have touched on a few of the many problems that seem to in habit this piece of junk you call a post.
with all respect,

Now, we'll go through this point by point. First of all, Da Vinci was NOT gay, I don't care what you say. I don't know where you got this information, but that's just not true. Look up any biography you want. Now, what the biographies will tell you is that he was not gay, but what they won't tell you, is that he WAS, in fact, married. He was married to a peasant girl who lived just outside of his hometown. The marriage was a secret, and the girl died a year later giving birth to their only son(my great-great-great-etc-grandfather). I gather this information from sources(written by Da Vinci himself) I found in my attic when I found the painting.

And as to him knowing I would be his ancestor... I don't know how he knew, the only thing that matters is that he DID know(if you want proof, look at the inscription on the painting).

About the butter-knife/sword deal. You say there is no evidence of it, yet there is evidence on the very page you are reading from. The picture of the knife in my previous post is, of course, what I'm speaking of. As to how it got in my attic, it just so happens that I do not feel I should share the story with just any person who comes to this site, so I will not tell.

As to a picture of the inscription. I will post a picture soon. I cannot do it right this minute because the knife in question is currently being examined by trained professionals.

And as for your comment. Learn to spell and capitalize properly. And PLEASE, at least sign your name, not just 'anonymous'.


My Humble Beginnings

Lately, I have been receiving emails, letters, IM's, etc, all inquiring about my past. Well, I deleted all those, but yesterday, looking in my mirror, I realized that I owed it to the world to tell them HOW I became so great.

I have tracked my lineage back, and using my great brain, have determined without doubt, that I am, in fact, a direct descendant of Albert Einstein. Delving further, I discovered that Einstein was a direct descendant of none other than Leonardo Da Vinci, and in turn, Da Vinci was a direct descendant of the famous warlord, Genghis Khan.

Therefore(using a method I call "the transitive method"), I am the modern day Genghis Khan.(Don't worry if you don't understand(it just means I'm great), or in fact, believe this[I will offer proof later in the post])

But I do not let the knowledge of my great lineage alter me in the least. I am still the kind, compassionate, caring, humble person I have always been.

As of my past, I was born great, I am great, and I will always be great. That is all you need to know.

Earlier in the post, I told you that I would offer proof as to my lineage.

Here, I am including a picture of a thing past down to me from the great Khan himself. On the reverse side(not included in the picture), is an inscription in an ancient dialect.

Genghis Khan's Great Butter-Knife

My great brain has been able to decipher this dialect and here is the approximate translation: "This butter knife is the sole property of Genghis Khan. Any duplication, or unauthorized use will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."

I think that proves the Khan connection. Now, since I proved that Da Vinci is a descendant of Khan, Einstein a descendant of Da Vinci, and I myself a descendant of Einstein, this obviously proves without a doubt my point. But to dissuade any remaining doubters, I will offer proof of my relation to these two men.

This painting is sure-fire proof that I am related to Da Vinci. I found this in my attic one day.

An Unknown Da Vinci Painting Found By Me

Now, If you look in the lower left hand corner of this masterpiece, you will see an inscription which reads: "From: Grandpa Da Vinci
To: My Greatest Ancestor Dave"

The Inscription

"Grandpa Da Vinci" is obviously a shortened title. The correct inscription with all of the "Greats" included could never fit in the corner of a painting.

For proof of my relation to Einstein, I will show you a page I found in a notebook entitled "Einstein's Notebook", and handed down through the family for generations.

A Page From Einstein's Notebook

It starts to say: "To find the volume of the spherical junk of anti-matter[EQUATION]"

It was obviously at this moment that inspiration struck, and the famous E=MC^2 was born. You can see this from the big Voila!!!! written below it.

So there is my past. I hope you peons enjoyed it.

All About Me And My Greatness

Hello Inferior Beings, this is Dave Thompson, a.k.a Dave the Superior. This is the place for me to vent my feelings of rage at the rest of the insignificant population of this world.

Just yesterday, I was sitting around feeling better than everyone else, and my "friends"(so they call themselves) were wishing they were more like me, when I looked in the mirror and realized why I was so great. I'm going to put a picture up here to show you, but I'll have to blur it up so you won't go blind from the dazzling beauty.

My Greatness

Well, I could go on typing all day, due to my massive hand muscle strength, but I'm tired of sharing the workings of my enormous brain with you peons.

Next Post: We'll explore my past, and explore just what has made me into the great person I am today.