Wednesday, April 04, 2007

American Idol, American Shmidol

You know, I think American Idol is pretty dumb. I mean, it's bad enough to worship stupid little idols of gods without practically drooling over some people who God gave a nice voice. And those judges, I mean, puuh-lease, do you really think they have any freedom over what they say; NO!! It's all scripted out. Randy is the nice dude who tells it like it is, the girl(can't remember her name) is the nice one who never wants to hurt anyone, and Simon is the mean man. I mean, he would say the Beatles lacked oomph and were just plain horrible if they got up in front of him. And then the narrator dude, I hate the way they try to draw out the suspense when they're kicking someone out. (They need half an hour of show to air, so that's the way they fill it.)

The narrator dude with the nice little goatee* says: "And you are.......not.......going home, you are safe!!!"

Ooh you had me there.

He should say: "And you are not surely ever not not going home."

And then make them figure it out. And if they get it wrong, they have to go home.

Besides, should I ever go on there, I think we all know who would win. Simon would loose his job cause he would have to complement me evertime I sang, and that's not what's in his contract.

*He has to trim his facial hair that way, it's in his contract.