I woke up today and turned on my computer, only to be greeted by a shower of sparks and an extraordinarily hot electrical fire. I quickly extinguished the fire with nothing but my willpower*.
After I extinguished the fire, the computer, surprisingly, would not power on. I tried yelling at it. After a full ten minutes of severe verbal abuse, the computer still refused to yield to me. I quickly proceed to physical abuse, using mallets, hammers, and screwdrivers as instruments of torture.
The computer had by now, received more damage than a Swiss-Army Knife could take. However, it still refused to power on.
I abandoned the computer as worthless.
As to just how I am posting this if my computer does not work: Just put it down to my greatness.
On another note, I received a call today about some letter. I was eating lunch at the time, and didn't think it was important enough to note what the guy said.
*And something that shot white foam over everything