Friday, December 08, 2006

Canada(Or Should I Say The Only Thing Keeping Us From Having A Whole Continent To Ourselves)

I was looking at a map today, and I was appalled to discover that Canada is not actually the 51st(as well as largest) state in the United States. :-O

In order to conform this, I first went to my massive brain for more information, but was unable to resolve my problem. Therefore, I went to the mystic oracle that is called Google, where I was even more outraged to find that it is the only thing keeping the US from having a whole continent to itself(except for Mexico, but that's in Central America, not North American).

Now, what's up with these people trying to keep the US out of Canada? I mean, not only are they keeping us from North America, but they're also keeping the better half of Niagara Falls for themselves.

Here I will list the things that I have found offensive about Canada.

1. First up, what's up with the stupid flag? I mean, a leaf????? Wow, lets be original guys, come up with the one thing that is in every country in the world, and stick it to some cloth. (I have a theory that their flag was created when the flag creating committee left a white sheet outside in fall.)

2. Canadian Bacon? HAM GUYS!!!

3. British Columbia Can't decide whether they're still under British Control, or if they're in South America.

Anyways, I now officially declare Canada for the United States of America. I'm sure all of you Canadians are cheering with joy.

I'm Coming For You Brethren


P.S. The views in this post are not endorsed by any governing body of the United States Of America. They are solely the result of my great brain.

P.P.S. If you would like to donate money to the cause, IM me at once(my IM is in my profile). Together we can take back North America!(We need a cool moving logo and sound byte to any designers who are out there.)

P.P.P.S. I apologize to any Canadians who remain loyal to the socialist regime in Canada.

P.P.P.P.S Don't stop reading my greatness just cause you're from Canada.


Just D said...

What about those of us who are half Canadian.. can we be half offended, or should we give you our half-hearted support?

Dave said...

It's up to you....